Wow. I have absolutely no words today. That the majority of Americans see Donald Trump as fit to run the country just blows my mind. But, I’ll go back to my frame of mind yesterday, and that has nothing to do with who’s president and who’s not.
I was starting to feel angry. Not about who may or may not win the presidential election. But about cancer. And the fact that my mom is about to embark on a journey involving chemo and radiation that will wrack her body, but still not kill the type of cancer she has. About the fact that there is not enough money being given to people trying to find alternate cures for cancer – other than chemo with all of it’s awful side effects – because pharmaceutical companies and doctors make big money by supporting the use of chemo. Which, in the end, is highly ineffective to some strains of cancer and extremely hard on the body. And I’m angry about the fact that there is nothing I can do except support her and help her along on this awful journey. And find a purple t-shirt on etsy about f-ing cancer.
So, being as it was a beautiful fall day, I went off on a photo walk. Stopping to appreciate the beauty around me – signs of an awesome God. I put the election in His hands, because I had worse stuff to worry about. Stuff that was hitting way closer to home. Then tried to put that in His hands as well.
I don’t know what the future holds for our country, or for my mom. All I can do is try to be okay in today. There are too many uncertainties in the future.
And in all reality. I may not be okay in every moment of every day. I got back from my relaxing, rejuvenating walk yesterday, and within an hour I was worked up and hopping mad about cancer. And I scared the cats. Somehow between the yelling and taking time to be one with nature, I feel just a wee bit better today. Ready to face the world. To put on the my armor and do this thing. Whatever that is. To be okay. Today. In the now.
And apparently, I found my words, whether you like them or not…