No words

Wow. I have absolutely no words today. That the majority of Americans see Donald Trump as fit to run the country just blows my mind. But, I’ll go back to my frame of mind yesterday, and that has nothing to do with who’s president and who’s not.

I was starting to feel angry. Not about who may or may not win the presidential election. But about cancer. And the fact that my mom is about to embark on a journey involving chemo and radiation that will wrack her body, but still not kill the type of cancer she has. About the fact that there is not enough money being given to people trying to find alternate cures for cancer – other than chemo with all of it’s awful side effects – because pharmaceutical companies and doctors make big money by supporting the use of chemo. Which, in the end, is highly ineffective to some strains of cancer and extremely hard on the body. And I’m angry about the fact that there is nothing I can do except support her and help her along on this awful journey. And find a purple t-shirt on etsy about f-ing cancer.

 

 

So, being as it was a beautiful fall day, I went off on a photo walk. Stopping to appreciate the beauty around me – signs of an awesome God. I put the election in His hands, because I had worse stuff to worry about. Stuff that was hitting way closer to home. Then tried to put that in His hands as well.

I don’t know what the future holds for our country, or for my mom. All I can do is try to be okay in today. There are too many uncertainties in the future.

And in all reality. I may not be okay in every moment of every day. I got back from my relaxing, rejuvenating walk yesterday, and within an hour I was worked up and hopping mad about cancer. And I scared the cats. Somehow between the yelling and taking time to be one with nature, I feel just a wee bit better today. Ready to face the world. To put on the my armor and do this thing. Whatever that is. To be okay. Today. In the now.

 

Yellow leaf

Yellow leaf

 

On fire!

On fire!

 

Catching sunshine

Catching sunshine

 

Sun rays

Sun rays

 

Day's end

Day’s end

 

Cute little toadstool

Cute little toadstool

 

And apparently, I found my words, whether you like them or not…

 

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The Promise of the Rainbow

I get really excited this time of year when the weather is constantly changing back and forth from rain to shine because that means it’s rainbow weather! One minute it’s raining, the next minute the sun is out, and I’ll go running to the windows to see if there’s a rainbow outside. Easter Sunday I saw not one, but two, or technically three rainbows. First a double rainbow which disappeared, the clouds came out and the rain started again – then a beautiful brilliant single rainbow. And it got me thinking about the promise of the rainbow. God promised it would never rain for 40 days and 40 nights and flooding the whole earth like that again. So I started telling Him that, you know, it’s been raining in my life for longer than 40 days and 40 nights. I’m not talking actual rain which, believe me, we’ve had a lot of here in the Pacific Northwest as well. I’m talking metaphorically. So I told God I was holding on to the promise of the rainbow in my life – not about the real rain, but about all the bad stuff that is happening. My husband and I split up, my job is a sinking ship and I’m going down with it. Things are not good. And yet here I am on my blog trying to sound positive and upbeat, when really, maybe I’m just trying to encourage myself along through a tough time. ┬áSo this week, I’ve been holding on to the promise of the rainbow, and I’m starting to see little whispers of hope coming into my life…

God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us – in the dreariest and most dreaded moments – can see a possibility of hope. ~ Maya Angelou

 

Rainbow at Seaside, Oregon

Rainbow at Seaside, Oregon

 

Lake Manapouri, The Kepler Track, NZ

Lake Manapouri, The Kepler Track, NZ

 

Yakima, Oregon

Yakima, Oregon

 

Doubles, Badgingarra, Western Australia

Doubles, Badgingarra, Western Australia

 

Some days, you need to remember the promise of the rainbow. The storms won't last forever, and the sun will come out again. Just keep moving forward.

Some days, you need to remember the promise of the rainbow. The storms won’t last forever, and the sun will come out again. Just keep moving forward.

 

Spotlight

Spotlight

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