I’ve been trying to pick my word for the year since the new year started. I was leaning towards the word hope.
So I prayed about it, and still don’t have a word. Instead, I keep feeling like God is telling me to put Him first. Whoa. Am I not doing that? Hmmm. Maybe if I really think about it, He’s there in my life, but not always first.
The reason I’m feeling hope is because my doctor prescribed me a new medication – Amitryiptyline – that seems to be knocking the sciatic nerve pain down to a 4 / 5 level on a pain scale of 1 – 10. Making it easier to get through and be closer to being okay as I skate through a flare up of pain. But should I really be putting my hope in a medication? And how many times have we put our hope in medication for my moms cancer and had that hoped knocked right out from under us because the medication wasn’t working? We’ve been told the medication will fail at some point. No hope found there.
Earlier this week, a wantok from PNG lost her 17 year old daughter in a car accident. I was getting my thoughts together to write about my word choice – Hope – when I heard the news. Where is the hope in that situation? I couldn’t find it. I didn’t write my post. The hope was just knocked out of me. But then I started thinking about my friends words that she wrote in her post on Facebook about the accident. Her daughter had just rededicated her life to the Lord two weeks earlier. She knew she was in heaven and she’d see her again some day. Wow.
I have hope that maybe this medication is working and I can wean myself off it and be okay again without it someday. But I don’t know that. If I look at the world around me, there is no hope.
The thing about hope is this: Hope is a fragile thing. It can be crushed, broken or dissipate into thin air in a heartbeat. If you put your hope in the things of this world, you have nothing. But, if you put God first and put your hope in Him, you have peace everlasting.
So, as we head into the new year, it’s a good thing to have hope for the future, but it’s a much better thing to remember Who to place your hope in in the first place. If we listen to Him telling us to put Him first, then it doesn’t matter if we have a word or resolution to face the new year with. My hope is in Him.
This is the year that I put God first in my life. I will declare that right now. Because maybe He’s there, just waiting to be put front and center.
For anyone reading this, I challenge you to stop and think. Is He first in your life, or is He just there, in case you need Him and feel like talking to Him if you have a moment?
To my susa lewa who lost her daughter this week: my heart breaks when your heart breaks. You are in the thoughts and prayers of many wantoks this week.
Pidgin English Words:
*Susa = Sister
*Lewa = Person of my heart, my heart craves / longs for you.
*wantok = A close comrade: a person with whom one has a strong social bond, usually based on shared language or place.