I haven’t been on here much. All I can say is “I can really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now…”
A miracle, new hope. It feels like God’s grace is running out for my mom. Where is the grace I felt God telling me about way back when I wrote the blog post What’s Grace got to do With it? Really, who am I to talk? I am not God. But I am me, and that’s what it feels like. We pray for a miracle, knowing it may not be granted. Knowing many before my mom have succumbed to the awful disease called cancer with nary a miracle in sight. Yet I pray every day for one, knowing my answer may be ‘No.’
My mom took a turn for the worse after getting on the new trial drug she had been getting a placebo of during her two years in the trial program at OHSU. The trial drug caused excruciating pain in her stomach and a loss of appetite. She was in the hospital twice in less than a week. Now she is home in hospice care and was taken off the trial drug. Her stomach pain has subsided and her appetite is very slowly coming back. She’s mostly eating soft food or liquid.
To those who have thought to send gift of fruit baskets, Omaha Steaks, Freshly or Instacart so my dad can get groceries delivered to his door or who brought home cooked meals or goodies. Many thanks to you. A special thanks to the writer of the note on one saying “Mary, eat!” When I read that to my mom. She smiled and decided to try eating a slice of apple. Thank you for being God’s hands extended to my parents during this tough time. For any who stopped by their house, thank you for helping lift her spirits. Thank you also for any and all prayers sent out way right now.
It doesn’t feel like Christmas around here. Mostly we stopped shopping for Christmas when things took a turn for the worst for my mom. But I honestly feel like we have Christmas all wrong. It’s not supposed to be about commercialism at it’s finest. It’s about God sending his gift to us – baby Jesus in manager.
I think Charles Schulz got it right with Linus’s speech in a Charlie Brown Christmas:
: “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not:
“for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.’ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'”
That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.’
So, at the risk of sounding like my Christmas spirit person (animal?), The Grinch. I leave you with this:
And on earth peace, good will towards men…
*Photos taken by me on a trip last month to Edgefield, mcmenamins in Troutdale, OR