Maybe it’s okay if I’m not okay

I’ll be honest with you: I have not been okay at every moment this week. Sometimes, the newest news on my moms cancer leaves us reeling. The last news we got was that kind of news. Not good. The tumor on her ilium bone is about the size of a small tennis ball and was described by her doctor as looking like it was ‘bursting out of her bone’. She’s in a lot of pain and has started radiation treatment just for that spot. So far she’s reported it feels worse since she started radiation than before she began. Hopefully this changes as they start shrinking it down. Keep her in your prayers. Pray the trial drug gets approved through a patient assistance program so they can afford it. Pray for a miracle. There is no cure for this kind of cancer. Just a trial drug that buys time.

So, suffice it to say, I haven’t been totally okay. I couldn’t smile my way through this photo shoot last weekend, even though some smiles were caught. And that’s okay. Sometimes, it’s okay to not be okay.

I’ve been playing this song over and over: Maybe It’s Ok by We are Messengers.

Maybe it’s ok if I’m not ok
‘Cause the One who holds the world is holding onto me
Maybe it’s all right if I’m not all right
‘Cause the One who holds the stars is holding my whole life

Brown 3/4 sleeve blazer, Ross, zebra print skirt, gifted to me, similar here, brown OTK boots, Shop Girl Consignment, Kate Spade New York handbag, gifted to me, bronze earrings, Kohl’s, floral statement necklace, gifted to me, brown metallic watch, Ross

Let’s talk about this skirt, though. Zebra print. So cute! Loving the zebra print fad. I paired it with a chocolate brown blazer I got at Ross a few years ago, chocolate brown OTK boots I found at a consignment shop in Gresham last fall, bronze jewelry and a bright pink Kate Spade handbag gifted to me a couple of years ago, which adds a nice pop of color as well.

As always, thank you for stopping by and thank you for any prayers for my mom.

*This post contains affiliate links. If you click through on them, I may receive a small drop of money, at no extra cost to you. Enough to keep a light bulb burning in my home. Thank you in advance for helping keep a light on in my home!

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~ All photos were taken by Calvin Hodgson.  You can find his work on Flickr and on his blog.

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Burgundy polka dot dress

On sunny warm days, we enjoy fall, on cold days, we hibernate like a bear. Last weekend was nice – we went out into the beautiful fall world. This weekend, not so much. We hang out in bed all day and try to stay warm while contemplating sleeping our way through the cold weather… Oregonian life.

Burgundy polka dot dress, Kohl’s, cropped black button up sweater, given to me, black shoes, old, disco ball necklace and earrings, Ann Taylor Loft, beaded purse, Goodwill, black cat eye sunglasses, Rue 21

I love the vintage 60’s style of this dress! Super cute and fun for a rock-a-billy look or just a retro vibe. I found this on the clearance racks at Kohl’s. ‘Cause I love a good deal!

Add in some fall leaves, and you’re all set for a fun fall day.

Yep. I’m a dork. And proud of it.

 

Keep my mama in your prayers this week. She goes in for another cat scan to see how the evil cancer is doing. More tumors keep popping up. This new cat scan will determine if they need to go after any more spots with radiation or start her on the trial drug she was never on during her time in the OHSU clinical trial group the past two years. For those of you who don’t know, she was in the placebo group the whole time and doing better than everyone else in the group until they finally had to take her out and send her to radiation in February after determining that two tumors that merged together were getting too big.

As always, thank you for stopping by and thank you for any prayers sent this way as we wait to see if, yet again, another shoe, is going to drop off with the cat scan news this week.

*This post contains affiliate links. If you click through on them, I may receive a small drop of money, at no extra cost to you. Enough to keep a light bulb burning in my home. Thank you in advance for helping keep a light on in my home!

Shop similar styles below:

Click on any image to shop the item directly! 

~ All photos were taken by Calvin Hodgson.  You can find his work on Flickr and on his blog.

Please follow and like: