Will you meet me here again?

I fell in love with this Victorian crushed velvet jacket from Dresslilly. It was back ordered when I tried to get it the first time, but I really liked it so I tried again later on. Eventually it made it’s way to me. So cute and so ridiculous at the same time! I say ridiculous because the gigantic bell sleeves keep flopping all over the place, but they’re also part of the cuteness. You just have to figure out how to not get them wet washing your hands or keep them from dragging into your food when you eat.

Crushed velvet Victorian jacket, c/o Dresslily; black Bond jeans, c/o Mott & Bo; vintage purse, old; black suede fur lined wedge booties, c/o Sole Society, old, similar here; black beaded heart earrings, Baublebar; vintage cross on heart necklace, old.

*This post contains affiliate links. If you click through on them, I may receive a small drop of money, at no extra cost to you. Enough to keep a light bulb burning in my home. Thank you in advance for helping keep a light on in my home!

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Personal update: Month two of my mom being gone hasn’t been as bad as month one. A lot of times when I feel like crying, the tears stay in my eyeballs because there aren’t enough to run down my cheeks. I feel like I’ve reached a state of apathy, numbness. A certain sort of meh-ness to everything. Not necessarily a good place to be, but maybe better than it was.

Today I made it to church for the first time in a month. I just couldn’t bring myself to go. I didn’t want to sit there feeling angry at God, nor did I feel like being there in the first place. I’m not really angry with God any more, nor am I happy that my mom died. Who would be?

They asked people to raise their hands at church today if they feel like they’d been forsaken by God. I raised my hand.That sounded like a good way to put into words how I felt. Then they asked us to raise both arms and for the people around us to put a hand on the shoulders of people raising their hands.

The congregation continued singing the song we’d been singing, Here Again, by Elevation Worship.

I’m not enough

Unless you come

Will you meet me here again

Cause all I want

Is all you are

Will you meet me here again

Not for a minute

Was I forsaken

The Lord is in this place

The Lord is in this place

Come Holy Spirit

Dry bones awaken

The Lord is in this place

The Lord is in this place

I sat there with my arms raised and tears streaming down my face. (I’m definitely a song person. Words from songs will always get to me more than words spoken.)

There’s something so precious in surrendering yourself to God.

The pastor was speaking about coming out of brokenness head first. A baby is supposed to be born head first so you need to come out of your brokenness and heartache head first. Um. Okay.

I disagree. Some babies stick and arm or leg out first or come out breech. Some have to be cut out of the womb. I don’t have the energy to come out of the heartbreak of losing my mom head first. If all I’ve got inside of me is to raise my hands and feel God’s love wash over me, that’s how I’m coming out of this. One arm at a time is a perfectly acceptable way to come out of grief. I’m pretty sure God will accept me coming out of this any way I’m capable of.

I really do like the new pastor at our church. His statement about coming out head first just made me feel like I have to come out strong. Like a wrecking ball. (Probably not what he meant and he certainly didn’t use the phrase ‘wrecking ball.’) Well, I’m coming out weak. I’m coming out trusting He will be my strength right now. And I’ll come out of this in whatever way I am able to, thank you very much.

For now, it’s enough to ask Him to meet me here again and to know that I am not forsaken.

~ All photos were taken by Calvin Hodgson.  You can find his work on Flickr and on his blog.

How to wear hearts after Valentine’s day

Valentine’s day is over, but your love affair with hearts is not. What’s a girl to do? Never fear! This post will help you sneak hearts into your wardrobe all year round.

One way to wear hearts year round is to find a smaller more subtle heart pattern, like the chambray top I’m wearing below. From a distance, it looks like polka dots.

 

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, chambray heart button up top, pink tee, white pants, rose gold purse & sunglasses + sparkle converse

 

Another way to wear hearts is in your accessories. I have heart earrings and heart socks on as well. You could also wear necklaces, rings and bracelets with hearts or heart tights.

 

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, chambray heart button up top, pink tee, white pants, rose gold purse & sunglasses + sparkle converse

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, white pants, rose gold purse & sparkle converse

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, chambray heart button up top, pink tee, white pants, rose gold purse & sunglasses + sparkle converse

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, chambray heart button up top, pink tee, white pants, rose gold purse & sunglasses + sparkle converse

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, chambray heart button up top, pink tee, white pants, rose gold purse & sunglasses + sparkle converse

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, chambray heart button up top, pink tee, white pants, rose gold purse & sunglasses + sparkle converse

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, chambray heart button up top, pink tee, white pants, rose gold purse & sunglasses + sparkle converse

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, chambray heart button up top, pink tee, white pants, rose gold purse & sunglasses + sparkle converse

Faux fur trimmed winter coat, chambray heart button up top, pink tee, white pants, rose gold purse & sunglasses + sparkle converse

 

If you want to go big and bold, you could wear a top with a gigantic heart on it and layer a jacket or a blazer over it.

The same goes for a skirt or top. Wear a heart dress with a cute little cardigan. Or wear the skirt with a solid color top.

Those cute little sweaters with the heart patches on the elbow are also a good year round pick. Until it’s too warm to wear a sweater, that is.

And furthermore, why not wear a swimsuit with hearts in the summer with a cute cover-up?

Keep in mind, hearts aren’t  nearly as big of a no no after Valentine’s day as say, wearing Santa / Christmasey stuff is, so no worries if it’s after Valentine’s day and you still want to keep going with all the cute little heart clothing you own. Usually just toning it down a bit is enough to not look overly ‘Valentinesy’ after Valentine’s day.

Happy weekend everyone! Monday I start a new job as a medical assistant for a counseling office. I’ll be working with a couple of people I worked with at another counseling office. So excited to be working with them again! Wish me luck.

 

*This post contains affiliate links. If you click through on them, I may receive a small drop of money, at no extra cost to you. Enough to keep a light bulb burning in my home. Thank you in advance for helping keep a light on in my home!

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~ All photos were taken by Calvin Hodgson.  You can find his work on Flickr and on his blog.

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